What Justin Beiber Means to Me

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(By Baxie)
In my opinion, there has never been a more brilliant musical performer than Justin Beiber. Never. Not the Beatles. Not the Bay City Rollers. Nobody. While critics may have their own opinion about Justin’s musical ability, I believe that Justin’s music, his lyrics, his brilliant phrasing–express the sort of potent prepubescent cogency that is virtually unseen in today’s trendy musical scene. He is both a genius and the consumate showman.

And yet, according to reports, Justin Beiber is threatening to walk away from it all. Justin Beiber wants to retire.

I want you to let that sink in. Imagine a world without his music. Imagine the radio without his songs. Maybe you are willing to live in a world that bleak. I am not. Yes, I am a 47 year old man. And yes, Justin Beiber is only 19. But that kid’s music peirces my very soul.

When Justin Beiber sang:

“I’m in pieces, baby fix me
And just shake me ’til you wake me from this bad dream
I’m going down, down, down, down
And I just can’t believe my first love won’t be around

And I’m like
Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you’d always be mine”

That’s some deep shit, man. Real deep!

I remember the first time that I heard Justin sing:

“Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don’t
I could be your Buzz Lightyear, fly across the globe
I don’t ever wanna fight yeah, you already know
Imma make you shine bright like you’re laying in the snow”

Its’s as if he were singing these whack-assed rhymes with those fresh beats right to me!

I fully expect the mochery. I expect your hurtful comments. I expect the ridicule. But I say to you, I am not alone in my sadness. There are more than 600 Brazillian hookers and strippers who’s entire annual income was reliant on when Justin Beiber would come to town. Justin would spread his love and various fluids throughout the world–letting everyone know that if he was YOUR boyfriend, he’d never let you go. And I believe him!

So, I say thank you Justin Beiber for making my life complete. Thank you for the joy, the excitement, and the brilliant music that shall last for the ages. Good bye Justin Beiber! Good bye, my dear friend. Enjoy your life. You totally deserve it.

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