(By Baxie) As New England sports fans, many of us are all too familiar with the dangerous flirtation of the dark and foreboding sports curse. For 86 years we sat and watched countless former Boston Red Sox players, managers, and executives mock the Curse of the Bambino as it were just some sort of small-minded annoyance. They laughed at the idea that there were evil forces afoot which prevented the Red Sox from winning a World Series (for 86 years). Well, I will remind you that Bill Buckner and Calvin Shiraldi didn’t believe in curses either. And look what happened to them.
On Friday afternoon, it was announced that Tom Brady would be on the cover of the new Madden 18 video game. For some people, this is great news. For others, this was an ominous and sinister turn of events that portends toward the rediscovery of the Madden Curse—a curse so vicious that it has ruined careers, placed men in great peril, and has made stronger men week with unflinching cruelty. Like when Michael Vick missed 11 games after breaking his fibula soon in preseason just after appearing on the cover of Madden 2004. Or in 2007 when Shawn Alexander broke his foot, missed 10 games, and never returned to full strength after appearing on the cover of Madden 07. Or Payton Hillis on Madden 12, or Daunte Culpepper in Madden 2002, or Gronk in 2016, or Adrian Peterson, Brett Favre, Marshall Faulk, or Vince Young—all of whom missed ten games or more after appearing on the cover!
Meanwhile, Tom Brady appears on a Facebook video, saying there “there is no such things as curses”. Then he takes a hammer, smashes a mirror then walks under a mirror to prove that the curse isn’t real! Dude, are you out of your mind?!? You’re not only sticking your middle finger at a curse that’s taken more than a dozen players but you’re openly mocking it very existence! You’re dancing with Karma, there buddy. And while I’m sure you’re confident that nothing will ever happen to you…I wouldn’t be taking my chances! I’d rather eat of box of your crummy snacks with an avocado ice cream chaser than flirt with almost certain doom—which, I might remind you is still possible!