Dudes, listen to me. You, as a man, have no right or reason to assert yourself in a sexually inappropriate manner over anybody…ever. You’re not only making a mockery of yourself, you’re also creating an environment of suspicion against those of us who make our best effort to respect all people, who try to raise our children in a way that demands that they exhibit the same respect towards others, and to those of us who do not feel entitled to manipulate, harass, or violate anyone sexually.
More importantly, unwanted sexual advancements against women are a humiliating, debasing, and morally unacceptable act that rips apart a person’s sense of trust, their self esteem, and their ability to feel safe.
You, of course, will hear a lot of accusations about false allegations and distorted factual information. And while those situation do occur from time to time, they are the exception. They are not the rule. In either case, we still place the burden of proof on the victim because there are many of us who are in disbelief that something like this to happen to THAT guy! Never mind what sort of humiliating ordeal that she has to go through. We’re all too concerned about what Matt Lauer, Louis CK, and Garrison Keiler are going to do next to save their careers
My response? Who gives a fuck? We should be more concerned about their endless trail of victims. How are those women going to get through the day? Who’s offering to help any of them? Based upon the blinders we’re wearing, is it any wonder why women aren’t jumping at the chance to file their legitimate complaints? Matt Lauer deserved to get fired. His behavior warranted action years ago. And yet…who are any of us to be critical of the struggle and courage it takes to articulate those complaints? We don’t have to the right to be critical of the victim any more than we are entitled to know her identity.
As a father of three daughters, I worry about the sort of situations that they’ll be forced to endure at the hands of arrogant men. Let’s hope that we figure this out and start showing each other the respect that each one of us deserves.