Celebrating Philadelphia-Style

Celebrating Philadelphia-Style

(By Baxie) Over the last seventeen years, the New England Patriots have won a lot of championships. Whenever that happens, New England fans have always shown a preference for calm and rational behavior.  We have become sophisticated in our celebratory choices.  Sure, you might have a few thousand UMASS students pour out of their dorm rooms and violating open-container laws.  But in Amherst that’s something that happens every Sunday night.  And in spite of the six arrests, that’s small potatoes compared to the reckless abandoned projected by the filthy animals of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania over the last 24 hours.

Yes the city of Philadelphia is known as the “City of Brotherly”.  And that would accurate is your brother happened to be drunken scum bag.  Let’s look at the damage caused following the Super Bowl on Sunday. You had your standard overturned emergency vehicles. You had your typical fires set in city-issued trash receptacles.  You had people stealing police horses, tearing down street lights, climbing greased poles, looting, fist fighting, and public urination—turning Philadelphia into the biggest human toilet in recorded human history.  

Then there was the video posted on TMZ.com of a Philadelphia Eagles fan in a Randall Cunningham throwback jersey getting down on all fours and chowing down on a steaming pile of horse shit to the encouragement of the drunken crowd egging him on to “eat it” and smile into the camera.

It almost makes me wonder what this guy would have been willing to do if the Eagles had lost?!? Were you out Tide Pods? Were all the Cheesesteak places closed for the night?  I watched this video several times yesterday.  And while it was disgusting, all I could think about was:

A) This guy is eating from a pile of horse shit in a $200 shirt without any napkins.

B) This could not only have a negative effect on his Tinder profile and any possible job prospects in the future

C) 50,000 people are in the streets and nobody has the decency to offer this guy a Tic Tac?

Filthy animals.

You see folks, this is the difference between a New England celebration and Philadelphia celebration.  A New Englander would never eat something he found on the street.  Secondly, New Englanders  haven’t anything that gross since Bickford’s went out of business.

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