I Didn’t Really Want Another NBA Championship

I Didn’t Really Want Another NBA Championship

(By Baxie) Me’h. You know what?  Maybe I didn’t really want another NBA championship after all. The Celtics have already won 17 of them.  And most of them were overrated anyway.  Hell, nearly half them were won before I was even born. And so, now that the Celtics season came to an abrupt end after losing the Eastern Conference Finals at home to the Cleveland Cavaliers in game 7—here’s what we should be focused on.

#1. There’s still a chance that the Red Sox could win the World Series.  Not a great chance.  But a chance.  And even a small chance is still better than the chance that the Celtics have at this very moment.

#2. Jayson Tatum is an absolute beast who, at 20 years old, would have violated the Massachusetts law for underage drinking had there been celebratory champagne and/or beer provided by the Boston Celtics in the locker room after winning game 7.  The result of which could have led to charges of the Celtics contributing to the delinquency of a minor. And, from a legal perspective, that could have led to costly fines and punitive measures.

#3. Next season the Celtics will have Gordon Hayward on a brand-new leg.  Kyrie Irving with a brand-new nose (which is why he didn’t show up to game 7), And Marcus Smart with a brand-new contract which could be worth up to $14 million per year—which would double his salary (based entirely on his fair market value.)

And finally, I think that the reasons why the Celtics lost game 7 were

#1: Everybody forgot how to shoot from behind the 3-point line.

#2 Lebron James appears to be slightly better everybody else.  The good news for the Celtics, is that it’s entirely possible that Lebron will opt out of his contract after losing to Golden State in the Finals.  And when that happens he could become the richest player in NBA history—but only if he leaves (which he will).  And if he does, perhaps he can stay out of the Celtics way.   Would that be asking too much?  I really don’t think so. So, keep your chin up Celtics fans. That once bleak future is suddenly starting to look up.  And I can’t wait to get started in on next season already.

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